Nobody Really Wants to Look Stupid!
Why is it hard to fight well?
I heard the most interesting tidbit of information that I will never forget. I’ve been known to forget things, but this, I will remember. It is going to stick in my brain!
Why is it hard to fight well? or fair? or sanely? Why, when we fight, do we say things we regret?
It is because of the physical changes that occur in our body.
We just plain get dumber!
We get stupid!
The reason we get stupid when we are mad, or in a rage, or when our blood is boiling is because during that time our IQ drops 20 points! 20 points! It seems our blood leaves our brain and moves into other parts of our body.
Where did I learn this unique piece of information? In church. In church from our pastor, of all places. Our pastor is teaching on dealing with conflict in our relationships.
First, in the book of James 4:1-2, you will find out why we quarrel and fight. Basically it is because of the war/conflict going on in ourselves, so we quarrel with others.
There are five common ways people fight:
1. We leave
2. We look out for yourself (win at all cost)
3. We let the other person win (or we want them to feel like they won)
4. We give a little and get a little (we negotiate)
5. We look out for each other (which is the best way)
Take note of the way you handle conflict in your relationships whether its in your family, your business or just out in public rubbing shoulders with people.
The next time you feel your temperature rising and are tempted to say something stupid, just remember what is happening. I think we would all agree that most of us can’t afford to lose 20 points of our IQ!
So, the take away from this:
Conflict is an emotional collision.
When I am mad, I get stupid.
Plus, hopefully it added a teensy bit of humor to your day.
Have a great non-conflict day! And if you have to fight, don’t look stupid while you’re doing it. 
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So you mean “I’m stupid” doesn’t have to be negative self talk… sometimes it “just is?”
Great post, Lynn. I can just SEE myself getting “stupid” and unable to respond in an intelligent or positive way. Spouting off in anger does something else to me… it drains all my energy for the next several hours. So it just doesn’t pay off to handle it in that way.
Thanks for sharing.
Willena Flewelling
Willena Flewelling recently posted..Let Go and Trust
Willena,
I guess when we act “stupid”, yes, it just is.
Definitely, anger drains us, and only hurts us…much like unforgiveness.
The key is to respond instead of react. If we could stand back and take a look at ourselves when we are in a situation of anger, we might count to 10 before we open our mouth and spout something unattractive.
Thank you dear for your comment.
Lynn
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Hi Lynn ~ Had no idea that this was a fact, although I will admit to sometimes not thinking logically when I get really upset (feeling the fight within me) about something…good thing it only lasts for a minute or two before rational thinking kicks back in for me…lol! I do appreciate you sharing, as it truly was something I didn’t already know about ~ Great advice you gave as to handle this type of situation
Christine
Christine Casey recently posted..Failure is not an option
Hi Christine,
Yes, I thought it was a brilliant fact to help us act rationally and also to excuse someone else in the heat of anger. Knowing our IQ and the other persons drops 20 points, maybe we can have a little more grace for them in a heated situation.
Bless you!
Lynn
Well worth remembering! I know I’ve felt stupid after I’ve said things I regret. Now I know I really was less intelligent in the moment of anger. My dad always said when you feel yourself getting angry count to ten before you say anything. Maybe it should be count to 20 as a reminder of the IQ points we lose.
Teresa Ivory recently posted..Success Stories- Karen Woolfall- Following Her Dreams
Teresa,
Counting to 10 or even 20 can let the steam out of us before we say something we regret. Good idea!
One thing that helps keep me from blabbering something I regret is that I really don’t like to apologize! lol
Have a great day!
Lynn
This will really help me Bite my Tounge. I know I can not afford to allow outside things to cause me to react. And this even makes it clearer why that is so. I will be DUMBER. Wish I knew this when I was 18. Even if I did I wonder if I would of used it?
Juanita K Waterman recently posted..We are Opening the Door to a Completely New Era in Online Marketing
Juanita, my sunshine,
LOL, I too could have used this tidbit of info when I was a moody teenager, but like you, I ask myself, would I have used it.
I was actually more the kind of person who kept things inside instead of blurting out what I thought. Apologizing for something stupid I said did not appeal to me at all. Hence, I tried to button my lips.
Love you,
Lynn
Hey Lynn,
Yes our IQ tends to lower while our temper tends to get higher. I know I’ve said stupid things and I’ve witness other people say stupid things. Maybe I should carry a mirror or a recorder just in case I lose my temper, then i’ll have a record to show how I am when I get like this lol. Thanks for sharing!
Sherman
Sherman Smith recently posted..The B-I Triangle- Mission and Team
How funny Sherman,
That would probably help, to see us at “our finest” moments. UGH.
Probably not a pretty picture, so let’s just keep our thoughts positive, our mouths shut, and think twice or more before we speak.
Have a great weekend, my friend!
Lynn